Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
