Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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