Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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