did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
