please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
