Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
