I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
