My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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