Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
