She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
