Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
