We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
