some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
