Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
