I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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