is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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