If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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