shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
