I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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