she looked like the before picture.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
