he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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