I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
