I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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