Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i think i just lost a toe
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
