Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
