Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
