Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
