Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
