i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
