talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
