My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
