I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
