TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
