Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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