I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Randomize
