We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She's like a pop up book from hell.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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