Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
