Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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