Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
