Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
