dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
