You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
