I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
