i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
