I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
