so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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