office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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