you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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