pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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