dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think people are normalizing furries
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
